TIming

The old adage that timing is everything is something that is awfully true. I am coming to the realization that waiting on the Lord is something that is not all that easy. Sure, I am more understanding about wants that I have that need waiting, but sometimes my place in the kingdom seems unsure. There are many things on the table that need addressing, and decisions to be made. However in all of this, the hiatus I have taken in terms of going away to school has left me a bit disheveled.

Two major opportunities have arisen that are from God, yet I feel still ambivalent about both situations, mainly because they are both appealing yet completely different in nature. Incredible kingdom work, but somewhat torn. Amidst all of this, I am feeling at home in terms of ministry to the school. I am currently on the master's leadership team, and doing music for different chapels and the day of prayer that the school puts on. Being used in this way continues to solidify my ministry involvement, yet there is still something missing.

I am gleaning a plethora of wisdom in conversations concerning leadership and what healthy effective leadership may look like in a local church and ministry context. One of my deepest prayers for myself is that I would grow as a leader and be fitted into the image of Christ even more. This prayer is being answered daily in conversations with people and "aha" moments that the Lord is giving me with Him. Unfortunately my feebleness in the flesh continues to be exploited as I glean more and more. This is the most humbling part of growing with the Lord. I find that I have many flaws and pieces of my life that need refining, and this seemingly endless epiphany continues to haunt me. But... God's grace is sufficient. His love has no end, no limits to which it cannot purify my life. For this I am most grateful.

As I wait for the Lord and what he wants from me, I want to continue to be upheld to the highest standard, one in which Jesus would appreciate. May I see my need to Him continually, and be refined in the holy love of Christ, which is unconditional in its essence.